I am a casual Star Wars fan, so, despite what every LucasFilm representative and Captain Riyola Keeven herself tells me, I’m probably not the dream audience for Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser, Disney World’s two-night, mega “immersive-theater” experience. Yet for millions of people who are hardcore Star Wars fans, who want to experience every part of the lore first-hand and now may have this destination at the top of their list, not only is it financially inaccessible for most at a whopping $5,000-$6,000, the activities and physical size of the Starcruiser are also underwhelming for what it could be.
Lodging / The “Hotel”
First and foremost, this is not something you should book if you’re looking for a relaxing vacation. If you are expecting a lavish Star Wars-themed hotel that just happens to be filled with hidden Grogus, let me stop you there.
The Galactic Starcruiser is technically not a part of the Disney Resorts and is mostly a way to connect to the Star Wars-themed Galaxy’s Edge area of the Disney World park without breaking the story illusion. So, depending on how much you value the hotel experience, you can see it as A) an impressive addition to the theme park, or B) a miscommunicated attempt to blend both of Disney’s services. I went with B.
Without going full Webster’s Dictionary, a cruise (noun) is traditionally a leisurely mode of transportation that allows for – and highly encourages – relaxing as part of the travel experience. Even as a verb, it means to journey without “purpose.” They also usually take place on, well, you know, cruise ships, which are massive and allow you to walk out onto a deck and take in the ocean breeze and sun. This is not that. In fact, I think there’s been a whole misconception about this being a hotel stay in what that typically means. My biggest critique is that Galactic Starcruiser wants to be both an immersive story experience AND a hotel vacation, trying to pass it off through a cruise-ship format that doesn’t sell either particularly well.
The interior design leans more into trying to convince you that it is a spaceship than it is a place of comfort. The terminal you enter through is mainly concrete, evoking an updated take on brutalism, while also making the next destination of the already cold, dark illusion of space feel even more constricting.
Unfortunately, the sense of claustrophobia doesn’t let up from there. Guests are indoors for the majority of the time in a building with 100 total cabins and suites, a few specifically tailored activity rooms, and one dining room and, due to the nature of space, it is dark all the time. While the atrium has nice tall ceilings, it’s mainly to provide an overhead stage to watch the immersive theater unfold. There’s accent paneling and decals on the walls and hallways – probably to cover up necessary fire alarms, switches, or vents – but that’s where the decor flourishes end.
The cabins are as basic as they come. A standard cabin is comparable to what you’d find on a cruise ship cabin, which is hard to accept when you know the room could be as large as Disney wanted to make them, and with the imagination of Star Wars, yet they chose to go small. If you’re not sleeping in the queen-sized bed, you’re in one of the bunk beds, which has a stiff, Styrofoam-like twin-size mattress, pillow, and a fabric sleeping bag rather than actual sheets. The bunks are made to appeal to the children of families for whom these rooms are clearly designed, rather than a group of adults sharing a room -- a reality that seems to be ignored in planning. You get a hairdryer but no clothing iron, so if you had a nice outfit you wanted to wear to the formal dinner, expect to show up with creases.
The entertainment elements provided in the room are sparse. The TV is built into the walls and has access to local broadcasts, so you can watch Storage Wars in space, but it lacks an HDMI port, so tough luck if you wanted to play a game of Mario Party. Aside from the TV, there is a “comms” system that connects you to the logistics droid D3-O9, which recaps ship-wide story elements with passengers should they choose to. This is a feature that you can interact with the way you would an automated customer service rep programmed to recognize certain words like “yes,” “no,” and “it was fun!” When you are interacting with D3-O9, there’s also a live mic recording your conversation, which isn’t totally dystopian at all.
There are also no windows in the rooms, only a “viewport” screen that projects an endlessly dark vista, which is not dissimilar to looking out at the open sea. But at least on an earthly cruise ship, you can tell when day becomes night and vice versa. That isn’t to say that the animation of the view is tacky; it’s very well-animated with cool details, but it’s disorienting the way that casinos are designed to be built to keep you playing longer. Here, it’s an unfortunate side effect.
The ship tries to remedy this enclosed, timeless feeling with a “climate simulator” room meant to prepare you for the off-ship excursion on Batuu, but with it so removed from the main atrium area and only the size of a patio, it feels a little like an afterthought. If this experience were more like an actual cruise, I don’t see why there couldn’t be a pool added. Cruises famously have pools! But the story experience is carefully designed to unfold over the course of two days, so lounging is not encouraged.
Along with the rooms, you spent a lot of time in the Crown of the Corellia dining room, but aside from the chandelier features and chairs, it’s a pretty blank slate. The walls are the same color as the rest of the building and there are no art or windows to appreciate, which drives the nail into the sanitized sailing coffin. There is also a minimally designed staging area for the musical performance that comes with dinner, but it tries to pass off the emptiness as a neutral space for any other possible performances.
Depending on how you see it or how much you care about the actual hotel resort experience, the Starcruiser either digs itself a hole or wields creative license against critique by leaning the design hard into the isolated cruise aspect. But with that, I have challenged: this is Star Wars, where you can jump to lightspeed through hyperspace! You can’t find a story excuse to make the rooms bigger on the inside? It’s a cruise-ship format, sure, but it comes without the space, freedom, the number of activities, or the 24-hour buffet of one. The experience is claustrophobic, but at least it always keeps you on your toes (if you’re paying attention).
Story Experience
It’s clear that the story experience carefully informs how activities, design, and the schedule are planned out. This aspect is kept tight, even if it falters a bit.
For instance, the first casualty of the hotel experience is that those two nights are the recommended (but also, the only) option. In those two days, you do a lot. Built around a narrative that connects to Galaxy’s Edge involving the First Order, sequel film trilogy characters, and of course, coaxium, you weirdly become an NPC in this world where the crew of this ship has to deal with political fugitives. No bit of Star Wars -- even that of a luxury cruise -- is removed from the political struggles of the cinematic world from which it originates. It’s ultimately up to you if you want to either stay an NPC or be like Ryan Reynolds in Free Guy and become a part of the story to help out either the Resistance or the First Order.
When you arrive, a Passenger Services member hands you a personal Datapad, which is a Disney-operated iPhone that only contains the Play Disney Parks app that allows you to interact with the park and experience in various ways. It’s also encased in a destruction-proof Otterbox phone case that will take up space next to your own earthly cellphone, so if you don’t care about helping one of the two warring sides, it is dead weight. For those who do use the Datapad, there are many things to do on it, but it doesn’t do all the things it really should be doing. For example, as tight as the itinerary is, there is no way for it to notify you when you have an upcoming activity. The Datapad also serves as the primary way to facilitate covert interactions with characters, removing any exciting chances to interact in real life and leaving you feeling like you’re playing a mobile game.
However, the staples of a cruise – Bingo (Sector Set), lessons (lightsaber training), educational tours (bridge training), gambling (Sabacc tournament), and off-cruise exploration (Batuu) – are all present. These activities vary in how integrated they are into the larger story. For instance, there are only 15 minutes slotted for Sector Set before it’s interrupted and “rescheduled” (but never is) because that area of the atrium has to be cleared for a hiding Resistance member to cross. What if I wanted to redeem my almost victory? As for more Star Wars-specific activities, Sabacc lessons and the tournament are completely removed from any story beats, existing normally as a poker tournament would. Lightsaber training felt more like an individual activity that could exist in the parks as a proper experience, taking place in a specially designed room and led by the Saja, descendants of the Jedi temple guardians, the Guardians of the Whills. It is a little sappy, as some older kids came out and called it “cringe,” but for the younger children, it is absolutely magical to wield a lightsaber and block those beams.
The story itself uses the world of Star Wars and the overbearing First Order to create an entertaining if not still tense dynamic between the ship’s original characters (Captain Riyola Kreevan, Cruise Director Lenka Mok, Sammie the Engineer, and Gaya the Twi’lek pop superstar) and the First Order’s Lt. Harman Croy, who plays like a carbon copy of the movies’ General Hux, and his Stormtroopers when they come aboard. Lt. Croy is a guest on the ship who commandeers bridge training to make unsuspecting passengers navigate and fight for the ship’s life when he takes it over to First Order use. It’s a fun interlude that keeps passive and active passengers alike on our toes whenever these characters enter a room and regularly remind us of the story at hand.
On the off-cruise trip to Batuu at Galaxy’s Edge, you finally get to stretch your legs a bit and ride Smuggler’s Run and Rise of the Resistance, which of course have deeper context after all the story building on the ship. You get a pin designating that you’re part of the cruise (in addition to the exclusive MagicBand) and a priority Lightning Line entrance to the two rides, but aren’t quite told that or how to access those perks once you get to the Lines. Also, since Galaxy’s Edge is only a section within the Hollywood Studios park, you can technically leave and go anywhere. You don’t get Lightning Line access on any other rides outside Galaxy’s Edge, and like a cruise, you have to return by a certain time, so there’s little use in trying to get onto another ride. You can do some quick shopping though!
There’s also a bit of clever social engineering on passengers using a traditional safety video before entering the launch pod, and during the captain’s “muster” (aka welcome) where you are trained to report to the atrium in case of any emergency that sets the stage for the final showdown between Rey and Kylo Ren (featuring a lightsaber that unsheaths in real-time). It’s not every day you see a lightsaber fight and the Force used in person, and between Rey and Kylo Ren, it’s an exciting end to the experience.
Hospitality
There are two bright stars on this galactic journey, though: food and hospitality.
I’m not the first nor will I be the last person to use this cliché, but the food was truly out of this world. The food’s visuals and taste spoke to the Disney parks’ inventive, on-theme menus. All the meals except for alcoholic beverages are included with your reservation. Breakfast and lunch are served “as much as you please” style with a buffet and free-for-all seating. One thing I cannot stress enough is that there is blue and green milk on tap. You could drink $60 worth of blue milk in a single sitting, free of immediate up-front charge. Maybe that’s where most of your payment goes toward?
The dinners boast ingredients and dishes from various planets in the Star Wars canon, further immersing you as passengers sailing across the galaxy. Crew members check in regularly throughout your meal to clear off plates and strike up a conversation with ease and warmth that truly makes the minimal, windowless dining room feel cozier. One major downside is that for all the fourth-mealers out there, the kitchen and dining room have limited operating hours so that 3 a.m. snack is a little out of reach. I’d highly advise packing snacks for yourself and young ones who get peckish throughout the day, though there is an area in the atrium that has fruits and individually packaged sweets available.
Lastly, The Galactic Starcruiser (and the Halcyon) really does have the finest crew in the galaxy. The Passenger Service crewmembers, who maintain the illusion from the moment you arrive at the terminal, are so impressively hospitable and improvisationally gifted. They throw around in-world vocabulary like “holoscans” (pictures), “viewports” (windows), and DataBands (the Disney MagicBands), and greetings such as “Good travels” and “Bright suns” so naturally that you almost believe that at least they were born on different planets throughout the system. You can even enter a very long conversation with them and they will not miss a beat in relating to you with their own galactically translated backgrounds. I know, I watched my two friends do a bit for so long with a member that I threw them a “wrap it up” motion.
Who is this best for?
This experience is best suited for extroverts with more than a little disposable income who are seeking an immersive, LARP-like experience. At the hefty aforementioned price point (not including a flight), it is inaccessible to many fans of the series, and it’s hard to actually see where that money goes toward. Sure, it can’t be cheap to pay for the crew members and performers, the utilities (imagine all those toilets and showers!), and the food, but why not just break those up into additional dining experiences like Medieval Times or activities in the park? Hopefully, the price drops as costs are recouped, and to tie this back to the series, hope is all we got for right now.
This is definitely not for people who want a relaxing vacation set in the world of Star Wars. To echo some sentiments of the teams behind this experience, you only get as much as you put in, which is true. This is more like HBO’s Westworld, where -- to really get your money’s worth -- you should be highly invested in participating in the onboard story experience. If you can disconnect from documenting everything and instead appreciate each moment on board, you can have a really fun time.
Ultimately, it’d be to your benefit if you research as much as you can about the immersive theater experience that it is (and the hotel it isn’t). If you can adjust your expectations accordingly, you likely won’t feel as disappointed.
from IGN Reviews https://ift.tt/sRfDSqP
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